Our journey is our diagnosis, our job is to find our medicine.

May 28, 2019

The reason I started the 7 day total body reset challenge #ichangemymindchallenge was because I wondered for years how to thrive. Nothing helped me. First I tried yoga and vegetarianism and going to India and being as holy I could be in my human body. That didn't work. More people were better at yoga and holiness and being pure. So then I over drank and over consumed and got as dirty as possible. That did not work, for reasons I won't go into right now,  but I learned a lot. That was followed by extreme juice fasting and water fasting and torturing my body into submission. That elevation was fun until it wasn't sustainable - hormonally or physically or even spiritually. Then I became obsessed with the Social Circles of Womanhood, being beautiful and optimizing my body, starting businesses, climbing the ladder of success, and being seen for the first time in my life. Although I achieved some level of personal success, what I really achieved was a personal sense of integrity and awareness.  I realized I didn't want that oh, it wasn't for me. So, I stopped looking at other people and judging them - in ALL ways - because I was so miserable in my life. The most challenging part in those circles, was when I looked my worse, when I was in extreme adrenal fatigue, exhausted, starving myself and trying to fit in, everyone told me I was doing my best! I was winning! When I would really take care of myself, slow down, take a bath, get off of social media, everyone told me that I was falling behind, that I needed to do more. That I needed to BE more. That I wasn't enough. The expectations for myself and other people were crippling.

And then something changed.

I could say it was losing two children and dying in the process. I could say it was losing great love and being alone moving through extreme adversity and success.  I could say it was watching my grandmother die, that after so much experience with death myself, walking her through death did something to me. I could say was being betrayed by the people I loved the most, being called crazy, being called insane, being called the worst names that a woman can say to another woman. I could say it was rekindling the relationship with my mother that I never had, the deepest healing I never knew available. I could say it was finally having enough money to feel safe enough to buy a meal for myself and someone else. I could say it was finding a home and realizing that having a home didn't mean anything more or less than being homeless. I could say it was finding my first ancestor, a witch, who came from England to Salem - PROOF that I am legit. I could say it was so many things, but what I'll tell you is that the change came from realizing ONE thing : tthat every single thing that has happened in my life brought me to this point.

The thing that changed for me was realizing that each of our Journeys is so perfect. Our journey is our diagnosis, and our job is to find our medicine.

The best part about the medicine? It changes day to day, with every choice we make, with every interaction we have, and with every breath we take.

During this realization, I developed a protocol that works. It's manifestation, it's self-awareness, it’s woohoo spiritual enlightenment, but most of all it's practically human day-to-day living, it's a  re-examination of who we are into a redirection into who we want to be in every moment.

And it starts with the physical body because we came here as a human in this body.

So, look down. What do you think about your body? I can tell you that no matter what you think about it, you'll feel differently in a moment, you'll feel differently tomorrow, and I want to give you the tools to - in every moment - optimize your entire existence.

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