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Uplevel Yourself

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I got accused of oversharing today so here’s a message to myself/you. Always overshare. Be transparent. If you have something to hide, it will come out to bite your a$$ and usually not in the apparent kind of way. Be so impenetrable with Who You Are that you can see your feathers get ruffled & smooth them out in 10 milliseconds flat. Get saucy with your ideas of what’s acceptable and not. Forgive yourself for CHOOSING to allow people to dictate how you’re allowed to show up in the world and then FORGIVE them for following your directions. Find your self-loathing right where you created it. Choose to turn self-loathing into self-worship NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT EVEN IF THEY PRETEND THEY DO FOR A MINUTE. Forget to give a $hit. But then give more $hits about the things that actually matter. When someone tells you what they deem a “should” say NO F*CKING THANK YOU V MUCH. Decide you won’t have people in your life who tell you how to behave. This is a test. No, not this post YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Will you live it being shamed for being you or will you look in the mirror and go YES MAMA YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST YOU. Queen, PASS THAT TEST. Decide that you pass it and then just do it. Don’t look back. Never for one moment wonder if you could have done something differently. You couldn’t have because you didn’t. If they chose to see it as offensive, let them be offended as you saunter off into PRESENCE. When the same person who loved you for a year or 10 turns on you in a dime for no or all reasons, wish them well and TURN THE DIAL TO NOT MY PROBLEM. Remember that you can’t please anyone but you CAN PLEASE YOURSELF 👅. When people pause to tell you you’re beautiful, full stop look them in the eye and say YES. THANK YOU. YOU ARE A MAGNIFICENT HUMAN. When someone you count on disappoints you, mark them off as human and go watch a flower bloom. If they call, maybe answer maybe don’t. Do what’s best for you bc what’s best for you is what’s best for them too. Stop trying to f*cking think you know what’s best for anyone or what they feel. You don’t. Get back to the mirror and start again.
👑

Do you know what I don’t?👑
I am looking for the absolute 1. best best best 2. most gorgeously connected to the natural world 3. wholly secluded 4. rent-out-able-in-it’s-entirety 5. place where I can bring my own chefs but everything else is provided for 6. in the USA (bc @audreyjonezzz is coming too, duh) to have a long weekend this summer for my BIRTHDAY Party/Intensive/Retreat of My Dreams with my best friends and teachers sharing magic with YOU.
💰
Think : the most gorgeous food, humans, disconnect, connection, time alone, movement, wine, dancing, chocolate, early morning ritual, all life long changes, talks on sex and tantra and death and bodies and yummy everything. And soaks in nature. Water is essential. And a sauna. And fire. And mud. Hahaha.
🦄
I’d love your recommendations or thoughts and also if you’d be interested bc I have no idea how many places to reserve.

I don’t know much but I just learned this:
If you get the chance to try again,
TRY AGAIN.
•
Thank you to my superhuman teachers.💎

Who have you not thanked? 💯
TIS THE SEASON.
•
Me?
I forgot to thank one group. Because I’ve been so sad and blah blah rah rah feminine power...
I forgot to thank the TRUE masculine.
•
I am so thankful for every man I’ve ever loved, f*cked, and spent a conversation (or less) with. This particular photographed man taught me more than I can ever say. He sat in lotus effortlessly without moving for an hour while watching tv. Never 1 time in more than a year did I ever hear him complain or even say “I am _______ (tired bored hungry annoyed etc). He was the most patient and kind and loving human I’ve ever met. And he loved his bottle of Jamison and pack of cigarettes a day while I bitched about his unacceptable behavior. He was true to all humans, speaking to the homeless and the ill completely at ease and listened endlessly to me talk about how hard handstands were to master and how much I loved pizza but couldn’t eat it for my waistline and gluten intolerance. He had the stories of wolves and Mary Magdalen and his mother woven into the framework of his entire life while I didn’t even notice. He had a flip phone when I begged him to get an iPhone. He loved his home, Long Island, and his ancestry, Italy, and was effortlessly the epitome of the New Yorker, wandering the streets with all encompassing acceptance of ALL. I judged. Complained about the trash. The noise. And worse. I asked him to be different. Better. I wanted him to quit smoking. I wanted him to be more spiritual. So he quit. He traveled with me to India, weathered the insanity of all my teachers, ate what was handed to him, and checked us into the Ritz when I wanted it. He went to New Year’s Eve parties with the Kardashian’s and gold leafed Chanel stores and traveled the globe living most people’s dreams but he answered my higher than thou call in the middle of it all. And even when I dumped him while he was on a flight from JFK across the country to me, he flew to me months later after I was raped and left to die to watch me sleep so I could feel safe.
•
To the greatest teacher:
Thank you.
•
To the men who show up even when we hope they’re “better” because we expect the impossible, thank you. 🔥🔥

Before I came to earth, I remember vowing to never ever ever give up on humans. No matter how hard it got.
And it got hard.
And it’s going to get harder.
👽
In these times, I look around the world and I am never ceased to be amazed at how much humans want to suffer. They want to feel the weight of the world. And they want to talk about it. They don’t just want to self-destruct or self-implode or leave the planet, they want to share the feeling they have... and then have more of the same feelings. And then share it some more. On a larger scale. Impact more people with their drama.
Wash rinse repeat.
They’re called “addictions” “habits” “emotions” and worse?
Highly sensitive.
Intuitively aware of others.
Empath extraordinaire.
Or worse?
The survivors, the saviors, the ones who conquered their fear or demon... and then want to keep it alive by continuing to share it with others.
P.s. you didn’t conquer anything if you’re still living it, even if you’re living “above” it.
🔥
Sometimes I look around me and go eh. Today it’s eh worth trying.
And sometimes I go WAKE THE F UP to me and all y’all.
Either way, it doesn’t usually go over well because? Humans like to stay in their misery but talk about how they don’t want to stay in it and then blame others for creating it or perpetuating it instead of saying I LOVE MY MISERY. It’s the wheel of suffering called the 3rd dimension.
💀
I always go home to the dying. The homeless. The mentally ill. My people. I spent time with a woman in her 90s who is leaving soon. She reminded me.
And it’s why this one came to me nearly half my life ago : to make sure I never forget to remember my vow. 🐶
If you ask yourself right now, out loud : “What was my vow in becoming human?” then let yourself stream-of-consciousness answer (yes, just do it!), what is your vow?
🙏🏽
Share with me.
FYI It’s called “spell-ing” because you cast a spell with every word, especially written.